i know that this is difficult for both of us. and not just me. i lost my best friend. my sister. someone who i thought i would always have. and i want as much of it back that we can get. as much that is healthy.
i want to be able to move on from this past year. i want to be able to talk to you about stupid stuff. call and leave voicemails about ghost hunter cars. and not see it and think that i wish i could call. because for so long i didn't feel like i could call. or that you wanted to hear from me.
i hope we can use this year to repair us. to figure out where a good place for us to be is. for us to both feel like the other is there for us. to not have that horrid awkwardness around groups of friends.
i think we're both in places that are good for us. where we can start this over. where you can talk to me about your love and everything that's going on and what you're thinking and feeling. and i want to be able to talk to you about my love and my crazy job. you're the only one that will understand a lot about it.
i don't see much of anyone anymore with all our crazy schedules. and that's ok. we're all in new places. but i'd like to start having friend dates with you sometimes. i may work a lot during the week but i'm off every weekend. and now that i'm actually working, i have money to go do dinners and movies and fun things. i'm not trying to jump in with both feet. just know that this is where i'd like us to be.
p.s. i miss paul and mona too.
