the thought that keeps me up most at night is you. i lay there and think over and over what i can do to make it better. how i can fix us. but i can't do it alone. i can't be the only one who wants to be friends.

i wish you'd just communicate with me what you want. i'd do just about anything to drive through the back roads at night with the windows down and music up with you.

i wrote this 7 years ago. and i still feel the same way.
"comfort is so different for each person. there are so many things that make me comfortable. but riding in that jeep, speeding down those back country roads, blaring the music, sitting next to my best friend. that's comfort for me."

please. i'm all but on my knees begging for some of your time.

i can't just walk away from you. i can't let so much go. unless you tell me to. that's why i asked. not to be mean. not to start anything. just to know. i don't want to continue to harp on you if you're not interested. but until you tell me to, i won't leave you alone.

i thought things were getting better. then out of nowhere it seems to have gone down hill fast. and i'm not sure i was even around for it. i just blinked and now you won't even communicate with me at all.

i have a hard time thinking that what we went through is big enough to lose it all. but maybe i'm wrong. i'm honestly not asking for anything from you. just letting you know that i'm still here. and i still want to be a part of your life.